


One Hour

by rowofstars



Series: 31 Days of Fandomas 2018 [11]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold as Detective Weaver, Sexual Content, Swearing, Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 20:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17008746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowofstars/pseuds/rowofstars
Summary: Lacey talks Weaver into going to a holiday party.





	One Hour

**Author's Note:**

> This is such nonsense, but the image in my head of these two was too hilarious not to write. I hope you all agree. For the 31 Days of Fandomas prompt #15 - Christmas jumpers.

“I am _not_ wearing this.”

Lacey pulled her sweater over her head, causing her hair to fuzz from the static. She frowned and smoothed it down before straightening the itchy wool over the t-shirt she had on underneath.

“Yes, you are,” she said, smiling and looking down at the snowman that was now stretched over her chest.

Weaver held up the mass of green cable knit. “No, I’m not. It’s bloody ridiculous!”

She gave him a look and sighed. “It’s for charity.” 

He remained unswayed and she snatched it from his hand, opening it and holding it up to reveal an obnoxious pattern of reindeer hoof prints across the bottom, and Santa Claus, presenting himself as some kind of law enforcement officer, with a sheriff’s badge pinned to his red suit, and dark sunglasses. She grinned and wiggled the sweater back and forth, causing the lights on Santa’s sleigh to flash red and blue, just like on a real police vehicle. 

Weaver rolled his eyes. “Of course it fucking lights up.”

“We promised Jacinda and Tiana,” she said. Then she started to smirk. “And _Lucy_.”

And the invocation of the young girl’s name, he frowned. “Don’t you dare…”

“You wouldn’t want to disappoint young Miss Vidrio, would you, Detective Weaver?” Lacey whined, adding a very exaggerated pout and a bat of her heavily mascara’d eyelashes.

He sighed and let his head roll back as his eyes closed. He adored Lucy, and no, he did not want to disappoint her, but he also did not want to humiliate himself wearing the single ugliest sweater he’d ever seen in his fifty year long life. 

“Why can’t I just write a check to the community center?” he whined. “Why the fuck do we have to put on offensive knitwear and drink watered down punch with a hundred other people?”

She shrugged. “Don we now our gay apparel?”

That got a begrudging snort and a short laugh out of him. He stared in consternation at the brazen kitschy awfulness of it, not noticing when she stepped closer.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she said, her voice dropping low.

Weaver met her eyes, and his eyebrows lifted as her tongue wet her bottom lip. “What kind of deal?”

“Well...” Lacey said, tossing the sweater on the sofa. Then she took his hands in hers and brought them to her hips. “If you wear the sweater for one hour at the party, and if you can figure out what might be missing with my outfit…”

He let his hands slide down over her backside to lift the hem of her pleated skirt. His eyes closed and a rumbling groan escaped his lips when his palms found nothing under her skirt but soft, smooth skin.

“ _Fuck_ , Lace,” he breathed, letting his head drop to rest his forehead against hers. “Let’s just stay home, sweetheart. I swear I’ll make it worth your while.”

She pulled back and grinned as he squeezed her arse. “I know you will, baby, but if you wear that sweater for one hour, and behave at the party, _I_ will make worth _your_ while.”

He licked his lips, imagining all the different ways she could do that. “One hour?” he asked, holding up one finger in front of her face. “Then I can take it off?” 

She nodded.

He brought one hand around to her front and let his fingers slip between her legs. Her eyes darkened and she made a small noise as her hands tightened against his chest, pressing her nails into his shirt.

“And then I can bring you home and get you off?”

Lacey moaned and pitched her hips towards his hand just as he pulled it away. “And then you can bring me home, cuff me to the bed, and have your way with me.”

Weaver’s eyes went dark. She didn’t like to do that sort of thing very often, but when she did…

_Christ, he loved this woman._

He all put pounced on the sofa to grab the sweater where it lay discarded, and tugged it over his head while trying to shove his arms into the sleeves at the same time. After a minute of struggling with the unforgiving wool, he pulled it down and made the lights flash as he straightened it.

She giggled as he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to get it back into place, and he gave her a wide, toothy grin. “Does the time start when we leave the apartment, or when we get there?”

Her eyes rolled and she took him by the arm, pulling him bodily towards the door. His arms already itched from the cheap wool, and he was being forced into attending the First Annual Portland Street Community Center Ugly Christmas Sweater and Holiday Party, but he couldn’t complain. He had Lacey French on his arm, and that made him the luckiest bastard in Hyperion Heights.


End file.
